AGhearts;;

I BELIEVE
that the world ends with you
so live your life to what you can do in order to end it with YOU and YOU alone
:)

ive officially decided what to do with the whole Gage thing
and i like to take my friends advice
so Gage;; SCREW YOU
ive giving you like 6 chances to get me back
4 of them you took, 2 of them you lost
i give up on guys
all i wanna do now is plan on going home
i believe that i truthfully wanted to stay here for him and him alone
since he promised me a college future of always seeing each other and loving each other
which i would of like, but i believe that we would be together yet fail
because truthfully. hes so immature with relationships
==
he doesnt even know the basics, he just does what he wants to do
which doesnt work for me

so guys
for now
im planning on going home :)
but like i say, its so early for me to decide
because imma be graduating in like a year from now
><
i may wanna stay here for uni purpose
(obviously not Gage, i promise!)
but i will rest assure that i will come home to visit sometime this year
and i will be partying and saying hi to everyone i love
<3

for now im just gonna try and live my life here in stupid Lone Pine
with retarded men and slutty girls
-sigh-

but i will say
that i believe that Gage, despite what im gonna say to him soon
he will come back to me, and yeah, i guess i will
but not now, i want it to be when hes officially ready for me
:)
after college, all that shit
and if he agrees
then i have no ties here in the US
ill go home
<3

..maybe i should do that..
cause i miss you guys
<3

BUT THIS IS THE LAST TIME IM GONNA BRAG ABOUT HIM
cause im over him ==;;
but to answer you guys quetsion
"why is he hanging with the bitch ex-girlfriend"
they dated for only a day, then had to break up since she left the country
EYE can understand why he so wants to see her
and i dont care
if he ends up liking her a lot and not me, well then screw him
but they havent seen each other in 8 years
imagine that? i would wanna meet up with my first boyfriend if that happened to me
it hurts yes. but its understandable
i have nothing against her
just Gage
==

okay enough about him
<3
ily guys!
ill be looking forward in coming home~

1. I've come to realize that my ex....still wants to be with me, yet is worried about his jc college is gonna be hard on him (which is like frigging tafe)
2. I am listening... "No More Room To Breathe" by There For Tomorrow
3. I talk...a friggin lot when i'm drunk xD
4. I love...drinking <3
5. My best friends...so frigging awesome
6. My enemies hate me because...i either take attetion from people they want attention from ; or they just hate me
7. I lost...the best boyfriend ive ever had :(
8. I hate it when people...just go to parties for sex
9. Love is...awesome yet shitty
10. Marriage...can go screw a funeral
11. Someone, somewhere, is thinking...about Pandachuu
12. I'll always be...Amanda
13. I have a crush...on two guys, sucks cause one of them is all the way in Australia and the other broke up with me ==
14. The last time I cried was because...today, was so confused
15. My mobile is the...retarded piece of shit
16. Before I go to sleep at night...i like to think
17. When I wake up in the morning...i snuggle my pillow
18. Right now I am thinking...that he will most likely not consider going out again
19. Babies are...aliens O.o
20. I go on facebook...like everyday xD
21. Today I...ended up lying next to Dustin, whos like a heavy snorer ==
22. Tonight I...will head off to bed early, so wastedd
23. Soon I will...slap a hoe for Franco
24. I really want...him to consider ><
25. The person who is most likely to re-post this...Banessa :D

well heres the update on the shit been going on
Gage and i really do like each other
were just still not going out because hes worried that going to a junior college will be more difficult on him
(junior college is like a TAFE program)
as well as a full time job
and he thinks that having those two and being in a relationship is hard
..yet if it isnt he'll come back to me..
which is a good thing
and the chances are highh
but.. ugh..
hes texting his ex girlfriend a lot lately
understandable since they havent talked or seen each other in 8 years, yeah?
but he still has small feelings for her ;; and i get the feeling she does too
yet she has someone she really loves and Gage really loves me
but then again, both were each others first love
and as they say
"you can never, ever get over your first love"
so life sucks..
and shes like, coming to Lone Pine this month
which sucks more.. cause hes promised he'd spend a lot of time with her
and i just dont wanna be here to see her and him together
even though today we argued and he said 'i love you more'
and proved it by finally kissing me after 2 weeks
it still is like wishful thinking..
and if i dont end up being with Gage, i do wanna come back to aus
but somethings telling me to stay
somethings telling me that staying here would be better for me
iunno if its because Gage wants to plan college together, or its because University of California in San Diego looks so badass than Melbourne
..like seriously guys, and they say its the party top school in california!!
and i fucking love parties <33
so yeah
im still considering going back home to go to uni and all, i would be much happier
but i think going to america is like, a chance to redeem myself
be a better person
even though i was back home, as in the future
its like a sign, but iunno
still have to think about it ==
but i do promise ill be back for a whole month to PARTAY
and go to minus18 kinda things ;)
i promise Natalie
and of course Banessa we shall like invade Melbourne Central with our awesomeness <33
or you could take me to a cool karaoke place!!
i do wanna go home.. but i think australia is more like my 'freedom' place.. not my 'reality' place

so yeah..
FML
-shot-